A different viewpoint

A friend of mine from church inquired about our adoption progress the other day. So I emailed her the link to my BLOG. She emailed me back the next day with some comments that really made me think.

She had been adopted as a baby. I think I had known this, but had forgotten. When I told her that God has led us to adoption, she began crying and reminded me that she herself had been adopted. So, it goes without saying that adoption will be very close to her heart. I got her permission to quote some lines from the email that she sent me:

Thank you for sharing your blog with me. As an adoptee, it really warmed me to read some entries (and brought some tears). Gracie will be so very grateful to you and Jason, even though she may not realize all you have and will go through until she is an adult, for the effort you put into being her Mommy and Daddy. Just as God has ordered the steps of your life with Gracie, He has also ordered the steps of her life to be with you.
I am brought great comfort in my adult life knowing that God planned and cared for me enough to have not been an abortion, but also that my Mom and Dad were obedient to the call of adoption.

Wow. I was officially at a loss for words after reading these comments. It has taken several days for me to be able to put my thoughts into words.

I have thought time and time again about how adoption is God's plan for us and how all of our lives will change, Gracie's included. And even though I refuse to think of us as a hero or anything like that (I don't like when people refer to us as rescuing her or saving her), I do absolutely think that her life will be better with us.

But thinking about this in the terms that God cares so much for Gracie that He called us to adopt her. And how utterly amazing is it that God even trusts Jason and I enough to call us to adopt her as our own? To place her in our hands; in our family forever? I have been thinking about our need to grow our family; not as much thought has been on her need to have her own family. I have been thinking of this from the top down, instead of the bottom up. God will always think of the children first.

I have been viewing the "paper pregnancy" process as necessary for us to get her; not as necessary for her to get us. It's the same thing; but yet very, very different. Absolutely none of this has anything to do with us...it's all about her. God needing to provide for His child. We are simply vessels.

So, the last thing that put a lump in my throat is this last comment:

This may sound weird, but I have sometimes wondered where I would be if my Mom had not had so many miscarriages, and turned to adoption.

I know that God has been speaking to us about adoption for the better part of a year now, but we've only been obedient in the past 5 months. So what if we would not have obeyed? What if we would have decided that we'd continue to "chance" a pregnancy working in our favor? What if we would have held out for pregnancy #5, in hopes of not having another miscarriage? What if we had not been obedient?

What would then happen to the little baby girl in El Salvador that is to be named Gracie...the one that is supposed to be our daughter? What would happen to her?

Father God, thank you again for your divine revelation through the amazing friends that you have placed in our path! God, I apologize for thinking mostly of what Gracie will bring to us..instead of her need to be in our home and lives...a part of our family. God, thank you for calling us and using us...we are willing vessels. God I thank you for our sweet baby, she may already be born...or maybe not yet. Keep her safe. God, when I may get a little sad or discouraged about the wait, help me to remember that in essence she's waiting too...and when it's your perfect timing we'll be placed together as a family.

Face for Grace,
Holly