A breakthrough

I've been pretty bound up by the financial aspect of the adoption. I mean, prior to adopting I must have thought that children were "free for a good home" or something. When we started checking into it and I realized the extreme amount of money that we'd have to come up with I sort of began to panic. I know that God can supply the money, but He really doesn't HAVE to if He doesn't want to. What if He wants us to teach us something during this process or something? (It is, of course, my hope and prayer that we've learned about enough during the course of the last 6 years that He would possibly just leave this alone and provide us with one heck of a blessing.)

There are times that it's been all-consuming for me. The only thing I can figure out is that it was the enemy's last chance to make us change our minds. God had totally sold us on the adoption, what with the burning bush and all; so there was no chance there. But if we got too freaked out with the money- maybe the devil could be on to something with that aspect. Jason always took the approach of, if God told us to adopt, God will provide the money. Sounded good- but a little too easy to me. I am the first one to know and realize that God is still in the business of working miracles and I know that He certainly can provide. But I'm the one that has to manage our money and I know what we lack in the finance department a lot of times. There just isn't a whole lot of extra- at least not THAT much extra.

But it boiled down to this, I wanted another baby- no matter what the cost. So I would just push the fears down- but eventually they'd surface again. And it was becoming harder to deal with each time.

I had decided to begin fasting and praying again. After all, that's when the first "burning bush" experience occured...so why not give it a try again. God, I need a breakthrough and freedom from the financial scare of adoption. No sooner had I started planning to fast did God speak the following to me:

If (God forbid) we found out tomorrow that Bayli needed some rare treatment that cost $20,000 that insurance didn’t cover- but it was necessary to save her life, money would not be an issue. We would do whatever it took and spend any amount to save her life...God would provide the money. Gracie is not flesh of my flesh- but she is still my child (even though she isn’t born yet) and money is not an issue…we’ll spend whatever it takes to save her life and keep her out of an orphanage! And just like God would provide for us to have the money to take care of Bayli; He will provide for us to have the money that it takes to get Gracie! His means of providing may be different than the obvious- but that’s ok too- because it’s all part of this amazing plan and journey that He has us on right now; we are His children and we are in His hands. Money is no longer an issue- it will come when we need it.

As soon as this realization hit me, I literally fell to my knees and began to cry- because at that moment I realized that God would supply every thing that we needed and then some. After I pulled myself together is when I looked up the definition of the name Grace. Which is:

The girl's name Grace \g-ra-ce\ is pronounced grayce. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "favor; blessing". A virtue name referring to God's grace.

Hello...her name means Favor and Blessing! Every time we even speak her name- we are speaking into existence the Favor and Blessings of God! I proudly stand before you a free woman! God will pour favor and blessings (His Grace) over Our Grace and over our adoption!

Forever a Face for Grace!