Some food for thought

It has been a while since I've posted, because...in case you've forgotten; I've been in labor. Paperwork labor, that is. Honestly, my OCD self has rather enjoyed paperwork labor. It is a LOT of work, and as our social worker said tonight, adoption is not for the faint of heart. Word to the wise, if you love to start projects and not finish them...this may not exactly be for you. But, it is certainly harder having to do paperwork for the adoption agency, that will be send to El Salvador- our Dossier. Then on top of that we have paperwork for the group that will be doing our home study. But I am pleased to announce that the paperwork for the Home Study agency, yes the same paperwork that normally takes about 10 days to two weeks to complete, drum roll please...I was able to finish in a record setting 24 hours, and was able to turn in to her in less than 2 days! Had it not been for that pesky little thing called sleep, I would have had it in sooner. Needless to say, she was oh so impressed with me.

Anyway, we had a training class tonight, the first of 4, for couples who are in the process of adopting internationally. It was a very interesting class and Jason and I both feel that we learned a lot. She did several activities that put us in the child's shoes. To have us think outside of our realm and help us to think how our child will feel. For instance, until Grayci meets us, she will only be used to one primary care taker. Imagine how overwhelming it will be for her to have more than one adult around her. Then, she asked us what we feel about us no longer being a typical white american family anymore. We had thought of this, but my response is, "Who cares?" Well I don't care and Jason doesn't care...but what about the baby. She will ultimately be the one to deal with the rejection. There is, of course, the side of me that says...I'll just claw their eyeballs out if they reject my child. But, aside from not being the Christian thing to do...what with the whole turn the other cheek thing. And then there's the whole, "well, that's not teaching Grayci anything good, now is it?" But- it made me stop and really evaluate myself. How many times have I possibly judged someone or judged a situation unfairly? I like to think that I'm not prejudice or that I have an open mind. But, am I a hypocrite? Honestly. How many times have I locked my doors when going down a "bad street"? Or how many times do I look at someone and think that they look strange...or even worse- assume that they are a bad person because of the way that they dress. Why? Just because they are different? Like it or not, Grayci will be a minority. Even though in our home and at church and around our immediate families she will be accepted and will be shown so much love she won't know what to do with herself. But, in the general public...she will be in the minority. Will I be able to handle this and equip her with the skills to handle this?

God, you have signed us up for something major here. So much more than just having a child, or raising a child. God, I can't change people's view and I certainly cannot make the world a place without prejudices. But, God- you and only you can give us the wisdom and knowledge to equip our child with the self esteem and power to stand tall and stand strong in this world. God I know this is all in your plan- you will work it out. And you will get all of the glory for it.

Continuing to be a Face for Grace,
Holly