We're still here

It's been a while since I've posted. But, no news = no post! We've been very busy with VBS/Cheering for Jesus & Sports Clinics. We had a bigger turn out than we originally expected and had an amazing week. The rain held off all week until the last night, which was sort of a bummer. But we worked through it and still managed to have a very successful week.

Scott, my brother, was home last week before heading off to California for additional training prior to heading to Iraq. We had a very good week visiting with him and hated to see him go. He feels that it's something he needs to do, which is why he re-enlisted. All that we can do now is pray for his quick and safe return.

We are already almost 4 weeks in to the waiting game for Gracie. The time has gone quickly because we've been so busy. I can't wait...to see her, smell her, hold her, just get to know her. My heart yearns to mother someone else. I pray that God is preparing this little girl for her freak of a mama...I've been holding back so many emotions and have been denied so many "mothering opportunities" through the miscarriages that I don't know if she'll be ready for me when I finally get to meet her. I think I will hold her and squeeze her until my arms break!

Life has been very hard for me recently. My mind is in constant warfare...actually my mind and heart are battling each other a lot. I know it's because the due date from our last pregnancy is still so fresh on our minds and hearts. Bayli will be starting school one week from today. Then I'll have an empty nest. I know that has a lot to do with my sadness too. I still struggle a lot with my emotions...trying to keep them in check and at a healthy balance. I know that it's normal to be emotional; I mean, we've been through a lot. But God is good and He will continue to grow us as we complete this journey.

Isaiah 55:11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

I am also struggling with going back to work. I know it's something that I must do in order to pay for the rest of the adoption. But, I'm concerned with fitting everything into my schedule. I have a lot of hours that I already put into our children's ministry...a lot of hours. Going back to work 3 days a week will make it almost impossible to do the work for the ministry. I am battling...it's like I feel God telling me to trust Him for the rest of the finances. But it doesn't make sense...I'm afraid of making a wrong decision either way.

God, thanks for loving me even when I'm a tad bit skeptical about things. I know, deep down inside my heart that you've got this whole thing figured out. I know that you have a plan for Gracie to be a part of our family, so I know that you have a plan to pay for her becoming a part of our family. God I pray that you will continue to show and reveal to us the next step that we should take...give us unquestionable peace. Prepare our hearts to hear your voice.

Face for Grace,
Holly