Out of the mouth of babes

Last night when I was putting Bayli to bed, she asked me, "When are you going to play with me Mommy?" I asked her what she meant, because I always play with her. She replied, "No Mommy, you always say that you are going to play with me then you cook supper, or clean things or do work for church."

Ouch. Knife through the heart.

The sad thing is, she's right.

I have always been an overachiever. I can't rest if things aren't put away and picked up. And everything has a place. There is no such thing as not knowing what to do with something. Everything has a place or it goes in the trash. That simple. I sweep and/or swiffer several times a week, if not every day, because I like a clean house. I also do a lot of work for church from home. This used to not be a problem, but apparently now it is.

I went to bed last night with my head spinning...trying to figure it out. What needs to change, what needs to give...or is she just exaggerating?

The conclusion that I came to was that I need to find a balance. I can't give any of these things up. The work for the ministry is our job...it has to get done. I've delegated as much as I can to people who are willing and the rest is up to me. I can do things during the day, or I can take away time from my husband at night. I think I need to do things during the day. But then, she wants me and needs me. There will come a day when she'd rather my not be around. What will I do then? When she looks back on her childhood I'd like for her to remember her Mommy playing with her and teaching her things. Not reminiscing about all of the time she spent playing by herself because Mommy had to swiffer the floor.

This morning I tried things a little differently. We snuggled in the bed for a few minutes like we always do. Then we went to the couch and snuggled some more (she's cuddly in the morning...)then we ate breakfast. Then I decided to take one hour and only one hour and do everything that I could...and anything I didn't get done in that one hour would have to wait until tomorrow. I timed myself, and got going...I made all beds, started a load of clothes, started supper, cleaned all the floors and dusted. The rest was going to have to wait. Then I was able to spend time with Bayli before getting ready for our plans for the day. We spent the next hour doing a craft, playing with flashcards and playing school (I was an excellent student if I do say so myself!) Then we got ready and some friends came over for a VBS meeting. The meeting lasted a lot longer than I had originally thought, but it was ok because the house was tidy and supper was in the crock pot, and I had spent quality time with someone who needed me the most. And it meant the world to her, and me too. And, totally unlike myself, aside from picking up a few toys and doing the dishes after supper, I've done no other housework today. And it's actually ok...I'm living to tell about it.

It's hard when you are pulled in a million different directions. No doubt about it. But, I feel that if I continue to seek God for His wisdom and direction things will flow more smoothly...which to me equals peace. And nothing sounds better.


Father God, I pray that you continue to show me creative ways to get everything done that I need to get done in a day. Help me to work smarter and still have time for everyone who needs me and needs my attention. I know that things are always changing, what worked today may not work tomorrow. I pray that I will continue to keep my priorities straight. It's very easy to put ministry ahead of my house, or Bayli ahead of my husband. But I know that is not how you desire for things to be. I want to honor you in all that I do and I want my life and my work to reflect you. Thank you Jesus for using my most precious gift, my baby girl, to reveal the err of my ways!

Face for Grace,
Holly